Mean Mr Misto
by Prankoholic
Summary: The Tugger is pretty tired of the way Misto uses his magical abilities, and counts on Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer to teach him a lesson.


The Tugger was going through the trash behind a grocery store one evening. Soon he found an old cake that had thrown out and thought 'jackpot!'. So imagine the disappointment when the cake flew straight past is nose and landed before Mr Mistoffelees on the ground.

"Chocolate!" he exclaimed happily and dug in.

Tugger jumped down from the trash can.

"The cake is mine, because I found it first"

"It's chocolate, you can't take it anyway" Misto replied.

"Neither can you, because you're also a cat!"

"You forget that I am magical"

"What difference does that make?"

"All of them"

Tugger ran his claws through the cake in such a way it made the filling splash in Misto's face.

During the jellicle ball all of the cats got along pretty well and could sing and dance without trying to maul each other. On an ordinary evening such as this, however, it often took less than a deliciously creamy chocolate mocca cake to start a battle of territories. But to battle with Misto was stupid and not very long lasting because he'd always send electric shocks at his opponents, and those kind of hurt. So after having been zapped, Tugger went to lick his owies and send the occasional dirty look.

In another part of town, the notorious Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were out being up to no good again. Tonight they were planning to break into their neighbouring family's house and capture their budgies. In the summertime some window was always open so the real challenge would be to open the cage later.

"These people are so stupid to leave the back-door open!" said Teazer.

"Sshh!"

The budgies in the living room started chirping as soon as they saw the intruders, which was instantly.

"Thank Bastet they aren't very loud ones" said Teazer.

"Will you please not talk? You're going to wake everybody!" said Mungo.

The cage hung from the ceiling. The cats jumped up on a dresser from which they could better reach it. Preparing to attack, Mungo knocked some porcelain figurines to the floor.

"Stop swishing your tail you're causing a rumpus!" Teazer told him off.

"I can't exactly help it!"

Getting bored waiting for Mungo to attack, Teazer jumped to the floor and went into another room.

"Fish!"

"SShhh!" Mungo finally leapt from the dresser and upon grabbing hold of the cage he tore it down with him when he fell. The door to the cage opened and the budgies shot out of it like cannon balls and flew for their lives in circles around the living room. They landed on the curtain rod but flew out the backdoor when Mungo started tearing the drapes to pieces.

"They got away!"

Teazer came out of the room she had been in. Something floundered in the corner of her mouth.

"What's that in your mouth?"

Teazer said something muffled and swallowed.

"Have you been off eating angel fish while I've been risking my life for my daily bread?!"

"I told you there was fish, and you haven't got as much as a scratch on you!"

"Are there any left?"

"You were hogging the budgies so I figured I could at least have the fish"

"I could have used your help, you know!"

"Well MAYbe if you weren't constantly shushing at me!"

"You were waking the everybody from here to Brazil with your caterwauling!"

"Like you're doing now?"

Mungo attacked Teazer and they disappeared into a cloud of fur chunks. A flower pot or two got shattered, and some crystal glasses fell out of a vitrine cainet when they bumped into it. It was astonishing how heavily the residents of the house were sleeping. They took the combat to the kitchen and more things crashed to the floor. Too busy creating havoc they didn't notice when the old lady who lived their came down the stairs with a broom stick.

"What have you done with my budgies!" she shouted and chased them out of the house and lawn. "Tell your owners they shall hear from the police!"

"The budgies must be out here somewhere" said Mungo later when he and his partner in crime headed to the playground.

"What's this?" Teazer stopped to sniff a green feather on the asphalt.

Mungo sharpened his ears. "Did you hear that?"

They listened closely for a moment. Something was definitely chirping nearby. A budgie flew from a cherry tree in somebody's garden and something came dashing after it. Mungo and Teazer tried to chase it, but another cat caught it before them.

"Rats! It's the Rum Tum Bugger" they muttered.

The Tugger ate the bird with delight pretty quickly and coughed up a couple of feathers before leaving the inedible remains behind.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" he said.

"Hello, Tugger. That budgie was ours" said Teazer.

"I didn't see your name on it"

"Maybe the other one is still around somewhere" said Mungo.

"Were they three?" Tugger asked.

"No, two"

"Then it's also no longer with us" Tugger coughed up another feather.

"Didn't you know it's against Jellicle etiquette to catch somebody else's prey?" Teazer asked.

"They're more like guidelines anyway. Besides, if it hadn't been for Misto I wouldn't have had to"

"What did he do?" Mungo asked.

"In the trash behind the grocery store I found a deliciously looking cake, it was whole and still packaged. But Misto had to use his special powers of course and take it from me. That cat will zap anything and anyone that gets in his way"

"Was it chocolate?" Teazer asked.

"Yes"

"Well then he won't feel very good afterwards at least"

"That's not the point, the point is that I am tired of him always having the upper paw on every situation and always bragging about his magical abilities. He, if anyone, is a breaker of Jellicle etiquette"

Mungo and Jerry nodded. "He can be quite the pain in the tail, even Macavity thinks so"

"Which is why somebody needs to teach him a lesson" Tugger went on. "Which is why I came to the two of you"

"Were you looking for us?"

"Of course. Who could teach a better lesson the notorious Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer?"

Mungo and Teazer were quite flattered.

"Oh, all right-" said Teazer, quite pleased with herself.

"Hang on a minute! If we do _you _a favour, exactly what is in it for us?" Mungo asked.

"Yeah, for us!"

"Isn't the honour of having outsmarted the astonishingly amazing Mr Misto enough?"

"It _is _quite the honour" Teazer agreed.

"We'll do it for a cake" Mungo insisted.

"Fine" said Tugger.

"Each!"

"All right, I can fix that. Chocolate?"

"Is there any other?"

"Yes"

"We'll have a chocolate cake each. How does that sound, Teazer?"

"Marvellous! And no catching our prey again!" Teazer added.

"My good sir, and madam, you have got a deal" said Tugger.

But how the acrobatic duo was to outsmart Mr Mistoffelees and his magical abilities was something they were unsure of. They went to spy on him among the trash cans behind the grocery store. They jumped up on a wall so they could look down on him without being noticed, that is unless he'd look up. He was still down there, the cake was gone and he looked pretty sick, and pretty pleased at the same time.

"What on earth can we do?" Teazer whispered. "He has magical abilities, there's no fighting that!"

"We're not going to fight him or his magical abilities" said Mungo. "We need a plan. A plan that begins with 'When he least expects it…', a plan that involves putting him into trouble"

"You, my dear Mungo, are one smart cat. What's the plan?"

"I don't know"

"Why, you're not very smart at all"

"You come up with a plan, then! Bastet knows it's about time you did"

"I come up with plenty of plans!"

They could tell Misto's ears had picked up on them, so they jumped down from the wall and landed on the other side of it.

"How about, what if, when he least expects it, we, or he, or someone… or something…" said Teazer.

"Yes, let's do that"

"We could break into his house and eat all of his food!"

"We already did that"

"No we haven't!"

"Maybe it was just me. Oh yeah, because you were at the vet"

"You mean you broke into his house and ate all of his food while I was having the worst time of my life?"

"Focus, Teazer, focus! What is the worst thing a cat knows?"

"Going to the vet, or being put on a diet. Being denied cuddles, or not being allowed outside. Insomnia, of being left at a shelter! I know- losing the ability to purr!"

"You said it, Teazer! We're going to send him to the vet!"

"I don't feel so good" said Misto. "But it was worth it! I love these things!"

He looked at his claws affectionately. A mouse came to sniff on the cake box. Misto sent electric shocks at it from three feet away. His powers usually declined in strength when he wasn't feeling very good. If he hadn't felt so sick the mouse would probably have died, instead of just getting a bit ruffled up and then scatter away.

It was pretty quiet outside and nearly midnight, apart from the occasional passing car or train, or shopping cart.

"Shopping cart?"

Misto looked around only to be capture and trapped in a sack and thrown into a children's shopping cart.

"We got him, Mungo!"

Poor Misto was in no condition to send electric shocks through cotton.

"This is for your own good!" said Mungo. "You looked pretty sick from that cake, so we're going to make you better!"

"Maybe we could put him on a diet too, he'll need it now!" said Teazer.

Meanwhile the night mail train was getting ready to depart, and Skimbleshanks was strolling on the platform. Just about to jump into the driver's cabin where he'd keep the railroad engineer company, the unexpected sound of a shopping cart squeaking distracted him.

"Leaping rodents! It's Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer with a sack of jumping potatoes!"

"It's not jumping potatoes" Mungo explained. "It's Mr Mistoffelees!"

"Great Scott! What's he doing in a sack with 'the vet' written on it?"

"He's not feeling very well and needs to be taken to the vet" said Teazer.

"But, why in a sack?"

"Oh, you know cats. They don't like being taken to the vet"

"Ah, of course. They make me feel like a million jumping potatoes, if that makes any sense. Well, I suppose you want the night mail train to take him?"

Skimbleshanks jumped into an open cart and dragged the sack into it. The engines started to roar.

"Oh dear, we're leaving now. You can come along if you want"

Mungo and Teazer wanted that very much.

The following night Tugger was out again, this time rummaging through the dumpsters behind a bakery, when Misto appeared with a bandaged front leg.

"Hello, Tugger"

Tugger looked up from the dumpster. "Well, if it isn't magical Mr M! What happened to your leg?"

"Would you believe that last night I was trapped in a sack and taken to the vet?"

"Really! Impressive"

"What?"

"Oh, like you don't suspect I was behind it already"

"I hate you, Tugger. If you eat all those cakes you're going to be Tubber"

"And you're not getting any of it"

Misto tried to summon one of them, but it only hovered for a couple of seconds before fell back into the dumpster.

"Aaaw!" said Tugger patronizingly and dug in.

Soon Mungo and Teazer arrived as well.

"We'd like out cakes now" said Teazer.

"There are no cakes here" said Tugger.

"You're eating on several"

"I meant for you"

"We had a deal!" said Mungo furiously.

"I know, but, Misto got hurt so the deal is off"

"You didn't say he couldn't get hurt!" Teazer objected.

"He's my best friend, I thought it went without saying"

"Well it didn't!"

Tugger jumped down from the dumpster.

"I'm not giving anything away without a fight"

Even though Mungo and Teazer were two, they and every other jellicle apart from Macavity knew that you'd best not fight the Tugger.


End file.
